Blah

So today it is cold and rainy in Kentucky and it just adds to the drearyness in the Tinkler house. Last night we got the call that Grammy passed away. She was ready to go home. I don't know how Josh is taking it. I knew him and grandpops were close but I have never heard about him and grammy. Josh was quiet this morning he wasn't moppy or anything he just seemed tired. This is the first time we have had to deal with death since we have been married. We were dating when his grandpops died and unfortunatly I was on my back from Mexico when he received the news. I have no clue how Josh deals with death or if I am making a big deal about nothing. I just pray that God helps me comfort him in whatever way he needs comforting. God has truely blessed me with the greatest husband!!

It's monday

Is is yet another Monday but this Monday is like no other. God has truely blessed me this morning with the presence of His joy! We started potty training Kenzie last week and she is already doing amazing. Last night she pooped in the potty!!!! This morning right after she woke up she went in the big potty and then again at around 11:00! She still goes potty in her diaper quite a bit but I know it will be a slow process. I am not expecting her to be potty trained over night, especially since we are starting out so young! When I tell people we are starting to potty train they just give me this look like it is impossible but I know with God's help Kenzie will be potty trained before we know it. She is growing so fast, I am watching her out of the corner of my eye as she tries to put my shoes on her feet. She gets them on and then tries to stand up. She falls of course but the fact that she is actually putting shoes on her own feet is just amazing. I can't wait to see how Elisha is going to turn out. Speaking of little Eli, I get to hear his little heartbeat today. I am leaving in about an hour and I am just so excited to hear the little man pounding on my from the inside. He is going to be a rowdy one. He kicks all the time. Last night I was laying there in bed and he kicks his foot out and just sticks it there, those kicks are the most painful, but the most precious gift of pregnancy. I love feeling the presence of a little one inside, it just makes me more in awe of God's love for us and His limitless power. God is so amazing! Keep little Eli and myself in your prayers as we are finally in the third trimester. This is where it gets rough and patience grow thin. I am so ready to hold little Eli in my arms but God's time will come! God bless!

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." -Psalm 28:7

Half way through November already

I cannot believe November is half-way through and Thanksgiving is just next week. It seems like just yesterday it was nice enough to run around with shirts and shorts on but now we have to bundle up already. I am super excited about Thanksgiving this year. I am excited to see my family and for them all to see how much Kenzie has grown. I am excited to eat lots of food too. Being pregnant and having a big appetite is a major plus this time of year. I am also excited because Josh and I are going to venture out for the first time on black friday. We really need a tv and so we decided that we will go out on black friday and find us a new tv. Our anniversary is Tuesday and I have big plans for Josh and I. It is so hard to keep things from the person you tell everything to. Completely off subject, God has presented me with many questions this morning and we I am not sure if it is God really or Satan. I know that these questions will only strengthen my faith in God. I just want to be listening to the right Spirit instead of the wrong one. These questions I will have to face with Josh and God. I just know that whatever I decide in this kind of decision God will be pleased but I want to figure out exactly what God's Word says about the matter. Just pray for me these next few weeks and I begin to dig in deeper to God's Word. I am super excited to see where this study is going to lead me. I am so happy that God is giving me something to dive into and search for my own answer!

Can't wait for baby Eli to get here!!
1John 4:1
"Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because man false prophets have gone out into the world ..."

Baby will be here soon

So I went to the Dr on Monday and I scheduled my final ultrasound. Where has the time gone? With Kenzie my pregnangy took forever but with this one it is flying by. I can't believe November is going to be here next week. It is so crazy how fast time goes when you have a child. Kenzie is going to be 18 months old next week, what happened to my little baby? She is so much fun at this age though. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Anyways final ultrasound appoint is set for the first of December. Come January I will be going to the Dr every week and then baby Eli will be here in February. Man I have a lot to get done before Eli gets here. Getting more excited each day though!

Great birthday!

I had one of the worst days yesterday. I was pooped on by Gabe and then puked on. Kenzie was just clumsy yesterday and kept falling down. It was a day I thought would never end and then my wonderful husband comes home and he is just incredible. We had a relaxing night (as relaxing as you can get with a 17 month old). It was exactly what I wanted and needed after the day I had. This weekend though is when we will actually celebrate my birthday. Josh and I are going out and I am sure we will have a great time. Thanks for all the birthday wishes.

Balled my eyes out before 10 am

This morning I watched the most empowering movie. It's called "Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy." The beginning was a little graphic it shows the lady going into a stip club and you see a lot of cleavage but the scene is necessary because it makes a big point in the movie. I can't even imagine losing a piece of my breast let alone the whole thing. I mean it is a piece of a woman's sexuality in our society however this movie just made me think of my husband. Right now I am pregnant and there is no way I am going to get all dressed up when I am so uncomfortable. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my husband would still find me beautiful whether I had one breat or none at all. If he can still look at me and be attractive why should I have a problem. I believe that every woman should know that the Lord is the exact same way. He thinks I am so beautiful just the way I am. He created me perfect in His sight. I think every woman should see this movie because if a woman couragous enough to go through breast cancer can still find the beauty in herself all of us other women shouldn't have a problem at all!

Hesitation

I am having a hard time trying to decide whether or not to get this stupid H1N1 vaccine. I have no clue what the side affect are going to be once there is a live vaccine inside me. I have read articles that have said there has been no actual testing on pregnant women at all. They are just assuming that it will have the same affect as the seasonal flu shot. They really have no clue what kind of reactions will come with this vaccine at all. I am just so hesitant because I am staying at home anyway and I am not exposed as much as people that work outside the home. I know I will be just as likely to get it though by simply going to walmart but still I just dont know if it is worth the risk. Sometimes I wish I could become a hobbit and never leave the house. Really unreasonable, I know, but still sometimes it sounds too good to be true!

But by the grace of God I am what I am

"But by the grace of God I am what I am" 1 Corinthians 15:10

God is so amazing. In my devos this morning I was reading from 1 Corinthians and I came across this verse and I was so overwhelmed. What an amazing God I have that cares this much for me that He cares this much for me to give grace. I just had to share this with everyone today because God blessed me with it this morning!

October is here!!

October is finally here. It is my favorite time of the year. Not only because my birthday is in October but I just love the weather. I have such fond memories of October. It was the month that Joshua and I started dating back in college. I love thinking about those days and this beautiful weather makes all the feelings come back again. I love thinking about those camping trips and those walks around campus we used to take. More than anything I love remembering our first date. If it weren't for Lindsey I probably wouldn't have gone on a date with that crazy Tinkler boy. I knew after that first date that Josh was the man I was going to marry. That God had placed us both at KCU to meet and fall in love. I just love October and all the memories that come with it!

A sense of relief

These last few days have felt like a wirlwind. Monday we had the excitment of finding out we are having a boy. I always feel tired though after baby appointment because I am always afraid they are going to find something wrong with the baby. I was that way when I was pregnant with Kenzie as well. It really drains me emotionally. Well after our dr.'s appointment we hung out with Seth and Lindsey the rest of the day. Then yesterday we had the preacher and two other men come out to the house for dinner. So yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning and just getting ready for company. Today I feel as though I can finally recover from Monday and just relax. I love keeping busy though. Josh and I really want to get more involved in our church and I told Josh I really wouldn't mind being at the Church most nights if we were really getting involved but I just get so tired I dont know if I can handle that much extra. So we will have to just take things so and slowly begin to get invloved. Plus I really don't want to get burnt out. I really want us to get involved as much as we can while keeping our sanity. I am super pumped though to begin this new Bible Study on Thursday nights. On top of that we are planning on going to church on Wednesday nights when they begin a new Bible study there as well, we just dont want to start on the end of a Bible study. So there will be 2 nights that will be occupied by church. Then Josh also wants to start playing on Sunday mornings with a band, so they will probably have practice either wednesday after bible study or on tuesday. Like I said I really want this change to happen, we really need to get involved but I just hope I can find a way to get more energy with this pregnany, it seems the farther along I get the more tired I get as well.

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."
-Psalms 18:32

It's a boy!!!

Yesterday we went to the Dr. and he informed us that we are pregnant with a little baby boy. Our name we have picked out is Elisha David and we will call him Eli. It is so incredible how amazing technology is these days. I was watching the 4-D ultrasound and I was just amazed. I kept thinking back to what Josh's cousin said to me once about how I have a hand in God's creation. I am protecting one of God's miracles. I just blows my mind that God would entrust me of all people with this amazing miracle and then I have to raise this human right in the ways of the Lord. Many people would be overwhelmed but I am just too honored to feel overwhelmed at this point. I just stand amazed that an actual human is inside me growing and how much love I already have for this little guy. When I look at the unconditional love I have for this little one and even Makenzie it automatically makes me think of the love God has for me. Kenzie is rotten at times but no matter what I love her and I would do anything for her. God's love can become a little more clearier when you have a child. You can really see just how amazing God is and exactly the kind of love He has for His children. I pray for little Eli right now that he comes into this world healthy and that he grows up to do great things for his Creator.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."
-Jeremiah 1:5

So it is official

God has really outdone Himself this time. It is incredible to see how the hand of God works if you just put your faith in Him. I will start watching Gabe October 6th and we will watch him 3 days a week. It is perfect because I can still fit my dr appointments in and I will also have one day to clean the house without having Gabe there. Kenzie did great with me holding Gabe yesterday. Heather, his mom seemed so laid back and just relieved that she had someone to watch Gabe instead of sending him to a daycare. I think I may just watch one more child, the neighbor girl, and she will be part time as well. It is absolutely perfect how God worked out all the problems I thought I would have. He really does take care of us in our time of need and gives us exactly what we do need to make sure we can still do work for Him!

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." -2 Corinthians 9:8

God is so good!

So yesterday God just reassured me that I was supposed to quite my job. I have had so many different job opportunities come my way. Kenzie, my daughter, and I are going to meet a little boy named Gabe today and we might start watching him from our home. I am excited to see hoe Kenzie will react to another child stealing mommy's attention. I am sure it will be a rough transition at first but I know she will she will adjust. I just know that God is going to bless our little family I just have to wait patiently and listen for His direction. I feel closer to God now than I ever have before. I can't wait to see the plans Hehas for this family start to take shape.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1

The start of something new... again

I am going to attempted to stay at home again. I had done it for the first year of my daughter's life and now I feel as though I should be doing it again. I just quite my job, a job that I hated and now I feel a little lost on what I am supposed to do next. I always thought I should work in the childcare industry but now that I have worked in a daycare that wasn't ran by my mother I see now that unless I start my own, I can never work at a daycare like my mother's again. I know I will never be happy at a job unless I can see my daughter the whole time. She is m pride and joy and I just know I cannot be happy unless I am at least in the same building. So that is why I came back home again. Our budget is going to be tighter than it has ever been before, I am going to have to pinch and save. My husband is going to have to take up a few jobs on the side but to be completely honest, I am super excited to see where God is going to lead us next. I got challenged this morning, I need to quite feeling sorry for my sorry self and do something about the poor, the widowed, the starving people in the world. So that is what my focus is going to be. I am going to focus on others and that is oing to be my new lifestyle!! Just something I do!